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As eager as I was to make romantic connectionsI couldn't have predicted that that same over-enthusiasm would end up biting me in the butt, hard. Because I was so keen to find lovemy expectations of online dating were way too high, and I found myself on an endless roller coaster of emotional highs and lows — because every rejection, bad date, or failed relationship felt extremely personal.
Getting out of your home and having a stimulating conversation is still a positive experience that is exciting and fun too. It took me a long time to develop a healthy relationship with my dating apps — and the first step was realizing that my expectations of online dating were super unhealthy.
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The Problem With Expecting Too Much From Dating Apps First thing's first: I'm by no online dating sites micro knocking dating apps as a whole, especially because they eventually allowed me to swipe right on my current partner.
Dating apps are a wonderful tool to meet people you might otherwise never come across, but it's crucial to remember that they're just that: a tool to meet people, not a method of magicking your ideal partner out of thin air.
The ability to scroll through dozens of profiles and judge people based on a photo and description gives a online dating sites micro sense of opportunities and options This can lead to feelings of despondency and disappointment. Online dating certainly has its place, but expectation[s] need to be held in check. Be certain of what you are looking for and willing to endure a marathon and not a sprint.
First, it requires a ton of patience: finding a real, lasting relationship online means enduring many, many meh or downright bad dates.
Even more important than patience? Being able to recognize if your expectations of online dating are unhealthy, and then learning to re-frame those expectations in a healthier way.
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As a young woman who desperately craved companionship, it was really difficult for me to take a step back and really think about what I wanted from online dating and in a partner. I had this naive online dating sites micro that any person I met could be a long-term partner for me, if only I tried online dating sites micro enough to make it work — but that couldn't have been further from the truth. In reality, not every person you match with will even turn into a conversation or IRL date Expect that you will ghost as well as be ghosted.
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As long as you feel confident and comfortable in who you are and what you're looking for in a date or relationship, a micro-rejection online will feel like NBD — after all, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
The first step is to take some time to self-reflect, and honestly ask yourself what it is that you're looking for.
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It doesn't matter if you're looking for love or just want someone to keep you company between the sheets: if you're aware of what you want, and go after it unapologetically, you won't fall into the trap of feeling defeated by your dating apps. If you want to get out of your comfort zone in datingdo it. If you want to have more casual sex, do it.
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If you want to find a real, long-term love, do it. There's no denying that modern dating can be frustrating, and that all the bad behavior on dating apps — like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and submarining — can be a real drag.
But as long as you know what you want, and don't expect dating apps to be a magic solution to your dating woes, it's only a matter of time before one of those right swipes is finally the right one.
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